What I learned...

I've been thinking all morning about the past 3 months... I think as time continues to pass I will look back and say that they were some of the most trying, most exhausting, most shaping months of my life thus far. But in a strange way some of the best...I think it is safe to say I have learned so much about myself, about the people in my life, and about the Lord than in any other 3 month span.

The word of the fall has been learning...getting back in the groove of expanding the brain. And my poor little brain has had more packed into it in 3 months than should be good for it! 1000 pages of Physiology, an entire body worth of Anatomy, all the ins and outs of the brain from Neuro and everything you need to know to be a PA =) But more than school knowledge, I have learned a whole lot about life. I am continuing to process...but I thought I'd go ahead and post my top 12 list of things I have learned (outside of book knowledge!)

1. I can handle more stress than I ever thought possible (the body is an amazing thing)

2. I can survive on less sleep than I ever thought possible (again, thank you body!)

3. I have some of the greatest support in the entire world...friends who will get up at 7am on their days off from school to pray for my finals. Are you kidding me?? That's nuts! Friends who keep calling even when I don't return calls. Parents who keep loving even when I am a lunatic. Friends who bring coffee from Athens, jelly from Asheville, leave notes on my car, bring snacks to my doorstep, write emails from Colorado, I could go on and on... I know I have said it before, but there isn't much that is more humbling than to have people come around you in some of your most time of need, when you are at your worst and know you have nothing to offer them...and yet they still love on YOU. That is Jesus, people. That is Jesus.

4. There is more to life than Young Life. I wondered if it was humanly possible. I love YL and have loved it so much for so long...I wondered if I could handle the void. It's been hard no doubt. I miss it like crazy. But the void is manageable and continues to feel right. Although I can't wait til the day I am back in the saddle again... and I still watch the clock on Thursday nights at 8:07 =)

5. Coffee is even better than I thought it was! It is a magic drink. I am thankful God made it!

6. I love learning. I love studying. I really do. I totally learned I am a huge nerd.

7. South College does it UP at Christmas?!?! Have you seen the place?? And if you think the outside is festive...please just walk inside...trees, snow, fake reindeer...I'm tellin you...it might be tacky to some...but it is TOTALLY my kind of place!

8. I love the female reproductive system more than I ever thought I would... OB anyone?

9. I hate the bones as much as I thought I did! Sick!

10. I'm even more of a perfectionist than I thought. I gotta chill out. =)

11. There are great and normal people in PA school! In fact, these people are amazing! The Lord has certainly been more than generous to provide me with people I look forward to spending most of my waking hours with every day.

12. But more than anything, I truly truly have learned the faithfulness of the Lord. More than I could ever communicate in words. I have known it more the past 3 months than I have ever known it. I have felt Him closer than I have ever felt him...carrying me, sustaining me. There have been days when he's pretty much the only person I talk to...and He's a really good listener. He continues to affirm my new journey and his story for my life...not by outward circumstances...but by inward peace. He has met me in my darkest hours and provided all that I need. That is by far the most thing I am walking away with from this quarter. And if that is the only reason I was brought here, I think it's enough. I will never be the same. I know Him more than I did before. And the more I know Him, the more I love Him.

He who began this good work in me...is faithful...and has (and will continue to) carry it on to completion.

Of that I am sure.

FREEDOM!!

Freedom:

- the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint

- the power to determine action without restraint

- ease of movement or action

- Stephanie Shirley after her first quarter of PA school

So...it's done. completed. finished. mark it in the books. I survived my first quarter of PA school! It was touch and go there at the end...and I wondered if I would emerge alive...but I did. I am still standing. Woohoo.

It's crazy. I looked in the dictionary for the definition of Freedom and there was my name. I am free. And I must say, freedom never felt so good. Although I must say, it's going to take some getting used to again =) I literally walked in the door yesterday after my last final and didn't know what to do with myself?!? What do normal people do with free time? What did I used to do with mine? These are the big questions I am dealing with at the moment...i feel GREAT about that!!! =)

A few things I hope to do this break:

*Sleep more than I have in 3 months

*Read as many books of choice as I possibly can!!! ( I am already compiling my list for the library! Any suggestions?

* Hang out with more people than I ever thought humanly possible!

* Watch so much TV it is disgusting! (Sorry Kyle!)

* Go wander around Target just for fun

* Get in the holiday spirit!

* Make the Christmas mixes I've been wanting to make

* Bake a TON of goodies

* String up Christmas lights in my room

* Have lots of Holiday Movie Nights

* Spend days in my pajamas

* And just live slow...unrushed...savoring every moment.

I got a feelin...that today's gonna be a good day...that today's gonna be a good good day! (And tomorrow and the next day and the next day...)

Bring on the Holidays!

Thankfulness

"Thankfulness takes the sting out of adversity. That is why I have instructed you to give thanks for EVERYTHING. There is an element of mystery in this transaction:

You give me thanks (regardless of your feelings)

I give you joy (regardless of your circumstances)."

I think I am more thankful this Thanksgiving than ever before in my life. I am thankful for a break...a few days to catch my breath, relax, hug people I don't get to see very often, lounge around with my family, eat ice cream with my sister, laugh at my brother, have some of the people I love most in the world in my kitchen at the same time... but even more than that I am thankful for the hardness of this fall...the adversity, the adjustment, the stretching, the exhaustion and in the midst of it all, the total unwavering faithfulness of the Lord to me. He has truly given me joy independent of my circumstances. I have never experienced a peace like this...a peace of knowing you are right where you need to be. This thanksgiving I want to be mindful of all my blessings...the ones I so easily take for granted...but even more than that, I want to remember to give thanks for the hard things and the things I am more prone to complain about or question than to be grateful for. I think it's in those things we find the mystery of God hidden the most.

Happy Thanksgiving!

We have much to be thankful for!

May we all, give thanks in ALL things....

An extra hour!!!

So...this morning is daylight savings time! Probably one of everyone's very favorite days of the whole year! It feels like you're cheating the system or something...you get an extra hour. Just for free. Where does it really come from? I don't know but I love it. I feel like I need to take advantage of it but where to start?? I think about that list of "to do's" I have...all those things that aren't urgent but you want to do and you write them down so if you ever just have some time laying around, you can do one or two of them...(or maybe this is just me!) But i DO have a list like that (I LOVE LISTS!!)...and I find myself this morning wondering what I want to cross off! I started thinking...if I had a free extra hour everyday, what would I do with it? What would you do with it??

Here's a few of my thoughts.

With a FREE, EXTRA HOUR everyday....i would....

- Meet a friend for coffee...pumpkin spice latte anyone!??! and Christmas cups at Starbucks! Oh its the most wonderful time of the year!

- Read a new book: a few on my list...finishing "Chasing the Dragon", Jane Austen ANYTHING, Cutting for Stone, The Glass Castle, Shelter Me, The Normal Christian Life, Irresistible Revolution

- Read the past 2 Real Simple Magazines that are still sitting next to my coffee maker!

- Write a letter. I love writing letters to people. Who doesn't love getting letters!?!

- Take a long, hot bath. With bubbles. And a book.

- Simply linger...slow down...notice more

- Wander around Border's--that place can suck you in!

- Go get my hair cut (anyone who knows me knows this is my very favorite guilty pleasure!)

- Go get my car washed- inside and out (my second favorite guilty pleasure)

- Watch my DVR-ed shows! (top 5: Greys, Parenthood, Modern Family, Top Chef, and Oprah!)

- Bake some banana bread or pumpkin muffins ('tis the season!)

- Call an out of town friend or 2

- Go on a long run

- Go on a long drive...windows down, heat blasting

- Listen to a good podcast: a few of my favs...Donald Miller, 2 Rivers church, John Piper

- Update my blog! ha!

- Drink coffee --flavored with my new fav. coffeemate flavor: Sugar and Spice! You totally need to check it out!!-- in the kitchen with my mom while watching the TODAY show!

Looks like for this year, the last 2 win out! I feel good about that. But if only I had an extra hour everyday...if only...!

What's been goin on...

Sorry to all my loyal bloggees...i have fallen behind!! I wanted to take a minute and just catch you up on "What's been goin on" lately...so here are a few of the highlights!!!

It's certainly been a FULL fall! Abundant, rich, and full of life and laughter! Complete with...

-A first annual "Harvest Party" at the Neely's (one of my favorite families in the world!) that consisted of good friends, hot dogs, candy corn mix, smores, a back yard fire, and great friends. (Picture below) I hope this tradition continues!

- Bill Haslam winning the governor's race. I know no more upstanding man and no more respectable family than the Haslam's. I have known them for the past 8 years (since little Leigh was the first girl I met--and hugged!--at the Webb School! ha!) and I would consider them my second family. There is no one I would trust more to lead my state. I am thankful for GOOD people who are willing to serve us in public office!

-And a whole lot of small life giving things: meals with dear friends, going back to leadership for the first time since I've gone off staff, going back to club for the first time as well, my small group, football saturdays, new soup recipes!, celebrating birthdays, Halloween, and a few hours of studying mixed in there! =) I am grateful. So so very grateful.

And finally...introducing my new friends! These are the girls that get me through long days, exhausting tests, overwhelming study guides, and hours and hours of studying. I came into school hoping to find a friend or 2 like me, I feel so lucky to have found a whole group of them who I seriously LOVE spending time with. They're awesome! Here we are right before thanksgiving...we had a potluck dinner of all our favorite fall foods complete with soup, cornbread, and delicious pumpkin desserts! Then we carved pumpkins!

These are 2 of my very favs: Jamie and Jen. We were scoopin out the guts like crrazy. Thats totally the best part!

And here's the whole group! From left to right: Kelsey, me, Jamie, Jen, Stephanie, Chelsey, Talley (Amanda completes our circle of 8 but was out of town. I'll have to do a personal head shot of her sometime!)

Thanks for reading... Here's to the fall!

Every Day...

"Teach me to number my days, that I may present to you a heart of wisdom" -Psalm 90:12

"Our days are numbered...the legacy we leave is...the quality of our lives." -Billy Graham

"What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do every once in a while..."

I have been thinking a lot about a day. The power it holds. The promise it holds. Every morning on his radio show that accompanies me to school, Hallerin Hill starts his broadcast saying, "Today is a new day. This day has never been lived before...what will you do with it?" And its true...that is question...every single day that I get to open my eyes and do another day, it is new. It has never been lived before. What will that matter? I want it to matter. Every day. I am finding that my "goal-oriented", "future oriented" self needs to take a back seat and live every day. It continues with my theme of simplicity, of gratitude, of back to the basics that God has been bringing me back to.

I want to notice more in days. I want to "leave it all on the field" EVERY day. Not just on "big" days. I want to really LIVE every single day. Whatever that might mean for that day. I want to FIND the meaning. I want to passionately be present in moments...grateful for each opportunity. Whether eating with a friend, listening to a lecture, writing an email, driving to a destination. I want to BE THERE. FULLY. ENGAGED. And live it.

I love the quote I wrote above about how what you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while. It makes sense, but I live so differently than that. I think the "once in a while, big things" are always more important. But really, when you add up all the "normal" days they stack higher by a landslide! So, i want to think about my "everydays" , my routines, my comings and goings, my commitments, etc... and I want my every days, my "littles" to matter. I want them to stack up to something that Billy Graham speaks of when he said that our legacy is the QUALITY of the life we led. I want to leave something of great quality.

Here's to praying I would learn to number my days...

And that they would be good to the last drop!

Week 2

So...a great weekend and then...slammed in the face with week 2 of school. It got hard. Really hard. The work is hard. The material is hard. The hours are hard. The self-discipline is hard. The loneliness is hard. The sacrifice is hard. But it is good. It is right. It is worth it.

I really love school. I really do. I love the material we are learning. I love what it is preparing me to do. I love the people I am with there. But if I am honest, I really miss my life. I really miss my friends. I have not figured out how to balance life with school and 2 weeks in, that is already hard. Uh oh! For someone who is so founded on relationships and who loves being with people and has spent the past however many years pursuing people, it is really hard to not even have time to return text messages. Sometimes I wonder if I am going to come out of this with my only friend being the Lord because He seems to be the only person I have time to talk to consistently--and that's just because he lives IN me for gosh sakes! ha!

Currently, I have 2 thoughts on this predicament...

1. I want to try to start allowing myself to still live a little bit. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? But I literally don't have time to do that when I look at all that I have to do every day...however, the way I figure it....I literally don't have time NOT to. Or I might go insane.

2. I also want to remember that this is part of my sacrifice right now. It is costly to follow the Lord. I am just not used to it being costly relationally. But I want to trust in his word that says things like "My God shall supply ALL your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." There are so many verses about working hard for the Lord-- Ecclesiastes 9:10, Colossians 3:23-24, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27. I want to work hard for HIM. That his purposes might endure in me.

So, as I do walk through this time, please don't give up on me. I need you all. Keep calling me. Keep texting me. Stop by and say hey if I ignore your calls =) I am really trying to learn how to do my new life...bear with me. I'm doing the best I know how...

I read this the other morning and it reminded me it is truly all about perspective:

"Both the child and the cynic walk through the valley of the shadow of death. The cynic focuses on the darkness; the child focuses on the shepherd."

And the shepherd is good. Very good. He knows where he's going...I'm with him.

The Lord is my shepherd....I have all that I need.

A Great Life...A Great Weekend

"Taste and see that the Lord is good!" - Psalm 34:8

Michelle's fall break was last weekend so she and her friends, Effy and Lauren, came in for a few days. We had the greatest time! Laying around, eating chili, taking them to see Knoxville, grilling out, playing cards, laughing and just being together. Clifford came in for the weekend and it was the first time our whole family has been together in a while. Mom and I both had a moment of tears of joy in the kitchen (I would like to chalk some of that up to my exhaustion from school! so as to not sound totally unstable!) But it was such a sweet weekend. Nice to walk in to a house full of hustle and bustle...the smell of good food, the sound of laughter and the feel of deep love. I love my family. I have a great life. =)

What about you? What things recently have made you pause and think...I have a great life? It might be fun if people "commented" with those...always encouraging to hear the little things that are reminding us of the goodness of God.

Week 1...

This is me on the first day of school =) I cannot count how many of these pictures from childhood we have over the years! Crazy to be taking a "first day" picture again!

Meant to have my backpack on and my lunchbox in my hand...oh well!

So...here's the good news...I survived the first week!

How was it? People keep asking.

And I keep saying I'm not sure the adjective to pick.

Wonderful...energizing...exhausting...terrifying...hard as crap...confirming...overwhelming.

It's been a lot of things. But the best word I have found is "tension."

Tension: the act of being stretched or strained, discomfort

I have found myself feeling a lot of tension between all kinds of things:

Tension of my new life: For example, the Young Life banquet was on Tuesday. So was a "Welcome Dinner" for our PA class from the older class at Bearden Banquet Hall. I knew that's where I should be. Even though every part of me wanted to be at the YL Banquet. But it's time to start choosing my "new world" right now...that's hard sometimes.

Tension with new relationships: I really really love the people in my program. Esp. a group of about 8 girls who I feel like I have known alot longer than I have! (Probably because we spend every waking second together it seems!) We sit together, stress together, laugh together, and even have formed a study group. I really love spending time with them. But I also have all my "people" that I had before...all of YOU. My friends, my family, my encouragers, the ones who have travelled with me and gone the distance. I feel like I live in 2 worlds relationally right now and that creates some pull.

Tension with time: Well I have none. Seriously. None. Ha! But the few windows I do have, it is so hard to know how to best use them. Take a nap? Run a few overdue errands? Clean my room for the love!??! Spend time with people I've had to neglect? And at that...Who?? Write a letter? Read a book? Study some more? Go on a walk? Lay on the couch and watch Oprah?!?! I am really praying to know how to be a good manager of my time. To know what the best and wise thing is to do each day. I literally need the Lord directing my steps at all times. He has certainly been gracious.

So, there's a few of the highlights of where I am feeling the tension. I feel stretched and strained. But I think that's good. I'm having to trust. I'm having to be dependent and find my rest in the Lord. One of the definitions of tension is "discomfort" and I would say it is by no coincidence that I find myself here... I know that one of my biggest "idols" is comfort...wanting everything to be safe. controlled. comfortable. feel good. It tends to be my chief aim in life. To stay in the comfortable. Well...so much for that! I think God is totally stripping me of that little issue...that's good for me.

Yesterday I was reading about Jesus feeding the 5,000 and I have found that to be a good prayer...that God would take my measley bread and fish...what little I have to offer to Him and to those around me right now and multiply it. Multiply me. my time. my energy. my efforts. my joy. my dependence. my gratitude. He's done it before...he can do it again! And in the mean time...may I be grateful for the tension and let the stretching and straining grow me to be more like Christ.

One week down...9 to go! (in this quarter!)

Happy Sabbath.

Last week of Freedom!

Peeps! Sorry for my tardiness in posting! It has been a whirlwind since I started school on Monday! I am going to be better about being consistent on here...promise! Bear with me for a few weeks til I figure out life! Ha! So, what's been up the past 2 weeks?!?! Let me tell ya...

For my last week of "freedom" before school started, my parents, myself, and my 2nd little sister, Meghan, headed to Hilton Head (maybe my favorite place on earth). It was one of my favorite weeks all year! We biked, kayaked, layed out, read, took walks, drank pina coladas, ate great food, saw a great movie, played cards, laughed ALOT and lived it up for our last week of "summer!" I was so thankful for that trip then, and even more thankful now after my first week of school. I am telling you, people, it was a rude awakening to go from this... to a class room 8 hours a day! ha! Anyways...here are a few of my favorite pics from the week:

Here was my view a week ago... literally 5 minutes after arriving on the island!

From our porch...every morning. Wow.

Talk about the Heavens declaring the glory of God!

This was my Psalm for the week...

Psalm 24: 1-2 "The earth is the Lord's and everything in it, the world and all who live in it; For he founded it upon the seas and established it upon the waters."

Appropriate? I'd say!

At our favorite restaurant rooftop for dinner...Santa Fe! 2 of my favorite girls in the world...

Mom and I in front of our yacht! (One day...!)

The "fam" before our kayaking trip...and yes, we got within 3 feet of 2 dolphin! It was AMAZING!

How cute are they?!?!

It was a great week! Always hard to come home!

A Great Life

So I've been thinking how I really need to debrief to all you faithful bloggies out there regarding my days at orientation. It's been really challenging to figure out what I walked away with, how I am feeling, or to package up into a pretty little box "what it's going to be like."

But, I've just decided pretty little box or not, I do have a few thoughts I have come away with. Surprisingly (or maybe not so surprising) a whole lot more about the bigger picture, the bigger story, and less about PA School.

Truth be told, I don't feel much different after orientation. A little more scared at how hard all the faculty and past students assure us it will be, but thankful to finally have a schedule so I can at least have an idea of what my classroom/lab hours will look like. It was fun to order scrubs and opthalmascopes (eye checker) and otoscopes (ear checker). That felt crazy fun! And I am really glad I got to meet everyone and put faces and actual humans with the names that I have seen over and over again. These are my people for the next 2 years. We will be each other's community, support, and the only other 54 people in the world who understand what one another is really feeling and living through. I am thankful for the way I felt like we gelled so easily. I look so forward to doing life with them.

On a grander scale as I have reflected, I have just felt grateful. Overwhelmingly grateful. Someone said recently that before they turned the light out to fall asleep, their wife turned to them and said "We have a great life." And I think I might claim this as my mantra for the next season. It is so true. And sometimes I forget it in the midst of my critical nature and overanalyzing of all things. I forget what a great life I have. I think every night as I turn out the light I want to end the day by taking the time to acknowledge that I have a great life. Life is all about choices...choosing how you will see things/ the world/ etc. I want to see through a lens of gratitude.

So, a few things I am thankful for in this coming season...

I am grateful for a community of people surrounding me that love me and stand behind me...my cheerleaders and encouragers in life. I think I really have the best "people" in the whole world. Really...yall cannot be beat. I mean, honestly, every time I looked at my phone on Monday or Tuesday I must have had at least 5 texts of people telling me they were praying for me, thinking about me, asking how it was, etc. It started to get ridiculous. I could not believe how many people remembered, how many people cared! I could never do this journey alone. I wonder if anyone else in the room had a community of people standing behind them and cheering them on for stupid ORIENTATION (ha!) like I did...I seriously doubt it.

I have a great life.

I have been watching some things on a new documentary coming out called "Waiting for Superman" (that everyone needs to see). It's about the state of America's schools and kids in inner cities who literally pray to win a "lottery" system that would earn them a spot in a private charter school. They break down in tears when their number isn't called because they know that in all likelihood they will not get the education they need or deserve.

And then there I am, sitting in a beautiful classroom accepted into a highly competitive PA program listening to some of the brightest faculty and doctors and teachers talk about the hopes and dreams they have for us. How dare I for one day complain! I have the opportunity to pursue my dreams! I have had an unbelievable education since my first day of Kindergarden. I have had people mentor me and push and challenge me. I have had people speak into my gifts. I have had the finances to go to college and to have no debt. I have parents who will help me get through these next 2 years free of rent, utilities, and pretty much any other expense. Are you kidding me?? On the hardest days of days when I am exhausted from studying and just want to quit, Lord help me to remember how lucky I am. How many around the world would give so much to have the opportunities I have been given. I do not want to take this gift for granted. I want to use it to change the world. To heal broken people. In all their broken places... And I am gonna get to do that! I am actually going to get to do that!

I have a great life.

It's Thursday night and once again I'm not at Young Life club. Thursday nights kinda suck in all honestly. I try to keep myself busy but it still just feels so weird to not be at club. I still stare down the clock as 8:00 approaches. I just want to be there. I could sit around and be mopey and sad that I don't get to do that right now...analyzing if I've done the right thing, etc. But in light of my new gratitude thing, I started thinking tonight. I started thinking about Meghan and Brittany and Leigh and Abby and Kyle. And about Kaitlyn and Alicia and BT and Betsy and so many others who this very night ushered kids into the presence of Jesus. Stood by the door and waited...for car lights to show up, for a certain face to walk in the door. I remember back to when I waited for some of them...now they wait for others. I remember back to when they wondered if they could do this...and I look at them now. Changing the world.

I got to be a part of that...I got a front row seat. And that really hasn't changed...I keep getting to have a front row seat. I've moved from the field to the bleachers for a few years...But I think I'm ok with that. To be quite honest, the seats are pretty good. I kinda like the view from up here. You get to cheer a lot louder and You notice a whole lot more..

Meghan's calling... I'm gonna go hear about club =)

I have a great life.

First day o' school...

So...clearly I didn't sleep very much! I can never sleep on the nights before big things! Can anyone?!? So, yes, this is what my clock read when I opened my eyes this morning... good thing i LOVE the morning!

Dean and Deluc...continue to be so good to me! This mug is my absolute favorite and has been my faithful companion through many a life journey...many a good morning and many a hard morning...the days always seem easier to face with my steady friend. Today was no different...

This was my pre-orientation checklist. Duh.

Well. I survived!! Yes it was overwhelming and yes it was intimidating as they kept talking about how "this will be the most taxing thing you've ever done...", "you can't even comprehend how hard this is going to be...", and laid out mottos such as "Live for the program" suggesting that even your own wedding is an unexcusable absence! Ummm...excuse me? That's a little daunting! I guess I'll have to postpone my wedding a few more years... :)

But in the midst of all that, it was so exciting. It was so fun to take my first baby steps on the journey. Love the people I met. They actually seem really down to earth and a lot like me! It will take me a few days to probably debrief on the "internal processing" but all in all...here is what I will say about the run down of the day....

Checklist...check.

Outfit choice... check. (Katie, I hope I made you proud. I would say it was pretty "fly"!) Not too over eager, but not too casual =)

Blue tote bag... check. Good choice, Steph. Not a backpack in sight. Phew...

And lunch, totally didn't sit alone.

Hardest part of the day...finding out no food or drink ever allowed in class. Are you serious?? What am I going to do without my Starbucks all morning??? I'm seriously stressed.... :)

We didn't get a ton of details today. Tomorrow should be a lot more of the "day to day" what my life is going to look like. I'm looking forward to that...I think!

On a serious note, thank you all for praying. For all those who texted or emailed...you have no idea how much it means to have such a great cloud of witnesses pushing me forward, to have so many people in my corner. I'll certainly need you... thanks for being with me. I am so blessed. Seriously...thank you.

Beginnings...

Beginning:

noun.

The start of an event or action;

birth, creation, dawn.

Tomorrow is "birth"day! The start of Chapter 1... The preface... The dawn... of this great story that began unfolding months ago. Tomorrow is the day that I was looking toward as I studied for the GRE, filled out applications, nervously interviewed. Tomorrow is the day I dreamed of as I celebrated an unlikely acceptance to South College, and kept in mind as I tearfully said goodbye to Young Life. Tomorrow is the day I continually reminded myself of as I studied my mind out this summer getting my last prereqs at UT and over the past few months as I labored over medical terminology text books and flash cards. And tomorrow I will wake up and it will finally be THAT day...THE day. Tomorrow I have orientation. My first day at South College as an official PA student! Holy crap! The journey is actually beginning. I'm so excited and so nervous I could barf right here on the keyboard!

I feel ready to start the journey, anxious to get a better picture of what this is really going to look like/ get a schedule/etc. (you all know me and my OCD nature that NEEDS schedules like most people NEED oxygen!), and I'm super excited to finally see faces of people who I will spend the majority of my time with for the next 27 months! But I'm ridiculously nervous! Geez... I haven't had a first day of school in a LONG time. All these questions started swirling weeks ago...What do I wear? Will I make friends? Where do I sit? Do I take a back pack? a purse? a tote bag? I mean I don't want to seem over-eager, but don't wanna look like a slacker! Ah! Currently I already have 3 outfits laid out, the coffee pot set for hours before I need to leave, and butterflies in my stomach! I feel like a little kid. But I kinda like it! =) New chapters are scary but they sure are exciting... I just can't believe it's already here!!

And hard to believe it all began with this...

Here we go! Can't wait to write all about it! Hopefully I won't get lost or have to sit by myself in the cafeteria (Pretty sure there's no cafeteria...phew!!)

The story begins...

Where the Magic Happens...

This is my office that I have been working on slowly all summer. I wanted a place dedicated just for studying that I would really enjoy being in...considering how much time I would probably be spending there! I really love the way it turned out...

Now, if only I felt as ready as my office does! ha!

And So It Begins...

Nothin like this to welcome you home, right?!

My new best friends for the next 3 months! Many quality LONG hours lay ahead of us...can't wait! :)

I am Written...

"I like the part of the bible about God speaking the world into existence as though everything we see and feel were sentences from his mouth...I feel written. My skin feels written, and my desires feel written...it feels literary, doesn't it? As if we're all characters in a book...."

December 21, 2009 is the day I peg as the day I realized I am written. I am not writing...I've already been written. I am not my own author, I am merely a player in a story much larger than my own. I guess I'd kinda always known it, like you know the world is round or the ocean is deep...but I'd never really had anything that made me EXPERIENCE it. That made it matter. That put arms around it.

And then I picked up a book by Donald Miller and everything changed. The Lord used his words to open my eyes to a work he was about to do in me that would change everything about me, change everything about my story, forever.

At the beginning of this whole process, I'd been on Young Life staff for 4 years... a volunteer leader for 3 years before that.. and a total YL sell out in high school. So, needless to say, my heart has been in deep in this ministry for a very long time. There wasn't much I didn't love about my job. Lost and broken high school girls are the heartbeat of my soul. YL leaders are my heros and a joy to walk beside. Webb School will forever be holy ground to me. Sure there were days that were hard and moments when I wanted to quit, but the majority of the days I couldn't wait to get out of bed and do my job. I was the girl who always said I would never leave staff. Fifty years from now, I would be the old lady on the rappel tower with high school girls belaying her down. That was MY plan. That was MY story... But God had other plans... another kind of story. And he quickly started to show me that.

This story...HIS story broke over Christmas Break. It involved leaving YL staff, taking the GRE, applying and being miraculously accepted to PA school at South College, and moving in a totally new direction. Essentially leaving everything I had...everything I knew...and following him. I was terrified, confused, but couldn't escape the call. So, I put down MY pen and stopped frantically trying to write my own story, and resolved to start to live out of a story much bigger than me...one written by the One who knows me better than I know myself.

(If you haven't heard the whole story from beginning to end, ask me sometime, it truly is amazing.)

This blog is a testament to God and his amazingly creative "author-ship". I hope that as I begin this journey and attempt to record it, a story will form that has all the makings of a good story--interesting characters, conflict, transformation, climax, and everything in between. A story far better than anything I could have ever dreamed for myself. That when I look back I will be reminded of His faithfulness to me every step of the way. Here's to a new chapter...