Week 2

So...a great weekend and then...slammed in the face with week 2 of school. It got hard. Really hard. The work is hard. The material is hard. The hours are hard. The self-discipline is hard. The loneliness is hard. The sacrifice is hard. But it is good. It is right. It is worth it.

I really love school. I really do. I love the material we are learning. I love what it is preparing me to do. I love the people I am with there. But if I am honest, I really miss my life. I really miss my friends. I have not figured out how to balance life with school and 2 weeks in, that is already hard. Uh oh! For someone who is so founded on relationships and who loves being with people and has spent the past however many years pursuing people, it is really hard to not even have time to return text messages. Sometimes I wonder if I am going to come out of this with my only friend being the Lord because He seems to be the only person I have time to talk to consistently--and that's just because he lives IN me for gosh sakes! ha!

Currently, I have 2 thoughts on this predicament...

1. I want to try to start allowing myself to still live a little bit. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? But I literally don't have time to do that when I look at all that I have to do every day...however, the way I figure it....I literally don't have time NOT to. Or I might go insane.

2. I also want to remember that this is part of my sacrifice right now. It is costly to follow the Lord. I am just not used to it being costly relationally. But I want to trust in his word that says things like "My God shall supply ALL your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." There are so many verses about working hard for the Lord-- Ecclesiastes 9:10, Colossians 3:23-24, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27. I want to work hard for HIM. That his purposes might endure in me.

So, as I do walk through this time, please don't give up on me. I need you all. Keep calling me. Keep texting me. Stop by and say hey if I ignore your calls =) I am really trying to learn how to do my new life...bear with me. I'm doing the best I know how...

I read this the other morning and it reminded me it is truly all about perspective:

"Both the child and the cynic walk through the valley of the shadow of death. The cynic focuses on the darkness; the child focuses on the shepherd."

And the shepherd is good. Very good. He knows where he's going...I'm with him.

The Lord is my shepherd....I have all that I need.