What I learned...

I've been thinking all morning about the past 3 months... I think as time continues to pass I will look back and say that they were some of the most trying, most exhausting, most shaping months of my life thus far. But in a strange way some of the best...I think it is safe to say I have learned so much about myself, about the people in my life, and about the Lord than in any other 3 month span.

The word of the fall has been learning...getting back in the groove of expanding the brain. And my poor little brain has had more packed into it in 3 months than should be good for it! 1000 pages of Physiology, an entire body worth of Anatomy, all the ins and outs of the brain from Neuro and everything you need to know to be a PA =) But more than school knowledge, I have learned a whole lot about life. I am continuing to process...but I thought I'd go ahead and post my top 12 list of things I have learned (outside of book knowledge!)

1. I can handle more stress than I ever thought possible (the body is an amazing thing)

2. I can survive on less sleep than I ever thought possible (again, thank you body!)

3. I have some of the greatest support in the entire world...friends who will get up at 7am on their days off from school to pray for my finals. Are you kidding me?? That's nuts! Friends who keep calling even when I don't return calls. Parents who keep loving even when I am a lunatic. Friends who bring coffee from Athens, jelly from Asheville, leave notes on my car, bring snacks to my doorstep, write emails from Colorado, I could go on and on... I know I have said it before, but there isn't much that is more humbling than to have people come around you in some of your most time of need, when you are at your worst and know you have nothing to offer them...and yet they still love on YOU. That is Jesus, people. That is Jesus.

4. There is more to life than Young Life. I wondered if it was humanly possible. I love YL and have loved it so much for so long...I wondered if I could handle the void. It's been hard no doubt. I miss it like crazy. But the void is manageable and continues to feel right. Although I can't wait til the day I am back in the saddle again... and I still watch the clock on Thursday nights at 8:07 =)

5. Coffee is even better than I thought it was! It is a magic drink. I am thankful God made it!

6. I love learning. I love studying. I really do. I totally learned I am a huge nerd.

7. South College does it UP at Christmas?!?! Have you seen the place?? And if you think the outside is festive...please just walk inside...trees, snow, fake reindeer...I'm tellin you...it might be tacky to some...but it is TOTALLY my kind of place!

8. I love the female reproductive system more than I ever thought I would... OB anyone?

9. I hate the bones as much as I thought I did! Sick!

10. I'm even more of a perfectionist than I thought. I gotta chill out. =)

11. There are great and normal people in PA school! In fact, these people are amazing! The Lord has certainly been more than generous to provide me with people I look forward to spending most of my waking hours with every day.

12. But more than anything, I truly truly have learned the faithfulness of the Lord. More than I could ever communicate in words. I have known it more the past 3 months than I have ever known it. I have felt Him closer than I have ever felt him...carrying me, sustaining me. There have been days when he's pretty much the only person I talk to...and He's a really good listener. He continues to affirm my new journey and his story for my life...not by outward circumstances...but by inward peace. He has met me in my darkest hours and provided all that I need. That is by far the most thing I am walking away with from this quarter. And if that is the only reason I was brought here, I think it's enough. I will never be the same. I know Him more than I did before. And the more I know Him, the more I love Him.

He who began this good work in me...is faithful...and has (and will continue to) carry it on to completion.

Of that I am sure.

FREEDOM!!

Freedom:

- the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint

- the power to determine action without restraint

- ease of movement or action

- Stephanie Shirley after her first quarter of PA school

So...it's done. completed. finished. mark it in the books. I survived my first quarter of PA school! It was touch and go there at the end...and I wondered if I would emerge alive...but I did. I am still standing. Woohoo.

It's crazy. I looked in the dictionary for the definition of Freedom and there was my name. I am free. And I must say, freedom never felt so good. Although I must say, it's going to take some getting used to again =) I literally walked in the door yesterday after my last final and didn't know what to do with myself?!? What do normal people do with free time? What did I used to do with mine? These are the big questions I am dealing with at the moment...i feel GREAT about that!!! =)

A few things I hope to do this break:

*Sleep more than I have in 3 months

*Read as many books of choice as I possibly can!!! ( I am already compiling my list for the library! Any suggestions?

* Hang out with more people than I ever thought humanly possible!

* Watch so much TV it is disgusting! (Sorry Kyle!)

* Go wander around Target just for fun

* Get in the holiday spirit!

* Make the Christmas mixes I've been wanting to make

* Bake a TON of goodies

* String up Christmas lights in my room

* Have lots of Holiday Movie Nights

* Spend days in my pajamas

* And just live slow...unrushed...savoring every moment.

I got a feelin...that today's gonna be a good day...that today's gonna be a good good day! (And tomorrow and the next day and the next day...)

Bring on the Holidays!

Thankfulness

"Thankfulness takes the sting out of adversity. That is why I have instructed you to give thanks for EVERYTHING. There is an element of mystery in this transaction:

You give me thanks (regardless of your feelings)

I give you joy (regardless of your circumstances)."

I think I am more thankful this Thanksgiving than ever before in my life. I am thankful for a break...a few days to catch my breath, relax, hug people I don't get to see very often, lounge around with my family, eat ice cream with my sister, laugh at my brother, have some of the people I love most in the world in my kitchen at the same time... but even more than that I am thankful for the hardness of this fall...the adversity, the adjustment, the stretching, the exhaustion and in the midst of it all, the total unwavering faithfulness of the Lord to me. He has truly given me joy independent of my circumstances. I have never experienced a peace like this...a peace of knowing you are right where you need to be. This thanksgiving I want to be mindful of all my blessings...the ones I so easily take for granted...but even more than that, I want to remember to give thanks for the hard things and the things I am more prone to complain about or question than to be grateful for. I think it's in those things we find the mystery of God hidden the most.

Happy Thanksgiving!

We have much to be thankful for!

May we all, give thanks in ALL things....

An extra hour!!!

So...this morning is daylight savings time! Probably one of everyone's very favorite days of the whole year! It feels like you're cheating the system or something...you get an extra hour. Just for free. Where does it really come from? I don't know but I love it. I feel like I need to take advantage of it but where to start?? I think about that list of "to do's" I have...all those things that aren't urgent but you want to do and you write them down so if you ever just have some time laying around, you can do one or two of them...(or maybe this is just me!) But i DO have a list like that (I LOVE LISTS!!)...and I find myself this morning wondering what I want to cross off! I started thinking...if I had a free extra hour everyday, what would I do with it? What would you do with it??

Here's a few of my thoughts.

With a FREE, EXTRA HOUR everyday....i would....

- Meet a friend for coffee...pumpkin spice latte anyone!??! and Christmas cups at Starbucks! Oh its the most wonderful time of the year!

- Read a new book: a few on my list...finishing "Chasing the Dragon", Jane Austen ANYTHING, Cutting for Stone, The Glass Castle, Shelter Me, The Normal Christian Life, Irresistible Revolution

- Read the past 2 Real Simple Magazines that are still sitting next to my coffee maker!

- Write a letter. I love writing letters to people. Who doesn't love getting letters!?!

- Take a long, hot bath. With bubbles. And a book.

- Simply linger...slow down...notice more

- Wander around Border's--that place can suck you in!

- Go get my hair cut (anyone who knows me knows this is my very favorite guilty pleasure!)

- Go get my car washed- inside and out (my second favorite guilty pleasure)

- Watch my DVR-ed shows! (top 5: Greys, Parenthood, Modern Family, Top Chef, and Oprah!)

- Bake some banana bread or pumpkin muffins ('tis the season!)

- Call an out of town friend or 2

- Go on a long run

- Go on a long drive...windows down, heat blasting

- Listen to a good podcast: a few of my favs...Donald Miller, 2 Rivers church, John Piper

- Update my blog! ha!

- Drink coffee --flavored with my new fav. coffeemate flavor: Sugar and Spice! You totally need to check it out!!-- in the kitchen with my mom while watching the TODAY show!

Looks like for this year, the last 2 win out! I feel good about that. But if only I had an extra hour everyday...if only...!

What's been goin on...

Sorry to all my loyal bloggees...i have fallen behind!! I wanted to take a minute and just catch you up on "What's been goin on" lately...so here are a few of the highlights!!!

It's certainly been a FULL fall! Abundant, rich, and full of life and laughter! Complete with...

-A first annual "Harvest Party" at the Neely's (one of my favorite families in the world!) that consisted of good friends, hot dogs, candy corn mix, smores, a back yard fire, and great friends. (Picture below) I hope this tradition continues!

- Bill Haslam winning the governor's race. I know no more upstanding man and no more respectable family than the Haslam's. I have known them for the past 8 years (since little Leigh was the first girl I met--and hugged!--at the Webb School! ha!) and I would consider them my second family. There is no one I would trust more to lead my state. I am thankful for GOOD people who are willing to serve us in public office!

-And a whole lot of small life giving things: meals with dear friends, going back to leadership for the first time since I've gone off staff, going back to club for the first time as well, my small group, football saturdays, new soup recipes!, celebrating birthdays, Halloween, and a few hours of studying mixed in there! =) I am grateful. So so very grateful.

And finally...introducing my new friends! These are the girls that get me through long days, exhausting tests, overwhelming study guides, and hours and hours of studying. I came into school hoping to find a friend or 2 like me, I feel so lucky to have found a whole group of them who I seriously LOVE spending time with. They're awesome! Here we are right before thanksgiving...we had a potluck dinner of all our favorite fall foods complete with soup, cornbread, and delicious pumpkin desserts! Then we carved pumpkins!

These are 2 of my very favs: Jamie and Jen. We were scoopin out the guts like crrazy. Thats totally the best part!

And here's the whole group! From left to right: Kelsey, me, Jamie, Jen, Stephanie, Chelsey, Talley (Amanda completes our circle of 8 but was out of town. I'll have to do a personal head shot of her sometime!)

Thanks for reading... Here's to the fall!

Every Day...

"Teach me to number my days, that I may present to you a heart of wisdom" -Psalm 90:12

"Our days are numbered...the legacy we leave is...the quality of our lives." -Billy Graham

"What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do every once in a while..."

I have been thinking a lot about a day. The power it holds. The promise it holds. Every morning on his radio show that accompanies me to school, Hallerin Hill starts his broadcast saying, "Today is a new day. This day has never been lived before...what will you do with it?" And its true...that is question...every single day that I get to open my eyes and do another day, it is new. It has never been lived before. What will that matter? I want it to matter. Every day. I am finding that my "goal-oriented", "future oriented" self needs to take a back seat and live every day. It continues with my theme of simplicity, of gratitude, of back to the basics that God has been bringing me back to.

I want to notice more in days. I want to "leave it all on the field" EVERY day. Not just on "big" days. I want to really LIVE every single day. Whatever that might mean for that day. I want to FIND the meaning. I want to passionately be present in moments...grateful for each opportunity. Whether eating with a friend, listening to a lecture, writing an email, driving to a destination. I want to BE THERE. FULLY. ENGAGED. And live it.

I love the quote I wrote above about how what you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while. It makes sense, but I live so differently than that. I think the "once in a while, big things" are always more important. But really, when you add up all the "normal" days they stack higher by a landslide! So, i want to think about my "everydays" , my routines, my comings and goings, my commitments, etc... and I want my every days, my "littles" to matter. I want them to stack up to something that Billy Graham speaks of when he said that our legacy is the QUALITY of the life we led. I want to leave something of great quality.

Here's to praying I would learn to number my days...

And that they would be good to the last drop!

Week 2

So...a great weekend and then...slammed in the face with week 2 of school. It got hard. Really hard. The work is hard. The material is hard. The hours are hard. The self-discipline is hard. The loneliness is hard. The sacrifice is hard. But it is good. It is right. It is worth it.

I really love school. I really do. I love the material we are learning. I love what it is preparing me to do. I love the people I am with there. But if I am honest, I really miss my life. I really miss my friends. I have not figured out how to balance life with school and 2 weeks in, that is already hard. Uh oh! For someone who is so founded on relationships and who loves being with people and has spent the past however many years pursuing people, it is really hard to not even have time to return text messages. Sometimes I wonder if I am going to come out of this with my only friend being the Lord because He seems to be the only person I have time to talk to consistently--and that's just because he lives IN me for gosh sakes! ha!

Currently, I have 2 thoughts on this predicament...

1. I want to try to start allowing myself to still live a little bit. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? But I literally don't have time to do that when I look at all that I have to do every day...however, the way I figure it....I literally don't have time NOT to. Or I might go insane.

2. I also want to remember that this is part of my sacrifice right now. It is costly to follow the Lord. I am just not used to it being costly relationally. But I want to trust in his word that says things like "My God shall supply ALL your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." There are so many verses about working hard for the Lord-- Ecclesiastes 9:10, Colossians 3:23-24, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27. I want to work hard for HIM. That his purposes might endure in me.

So, as I do walk through this time, please don't give up on me. I need you all. Keep calling me. Keep texting me. Stop by and say hey if I ignore your calls =) I am really trying to learn how to do my new life...bear with me. I'm doing the best I know how...

I read this the other morning and it reminded me it is truly all about perspective:

"Both the child and the cynic walk through the valley of the shadow of death. The cynic focuses on the darkness; the child focuses on the shepherd."

And the shepherd is good. Very good. He knows where he's going...I'm with him.

The Lord is my shepherd....I have all that I need.